


Exo at *insert random prompt*

by WosichdieSeebricht



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Exactly what the title says, Gen, I feel Suho I am done with myself bc of this, Random & Short, You Have Been Warned, everythings going wrong, exo are chaos kings, mama suho's done, maybe it's going to be more than one, me trying to be creative, or maybe I'll just go in hiatus after this, probably fail at humor, prompts, screenplayAU, what's wrong with my brain, will probably add more useless tags in the future, yes I did not even try
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:00:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WosichdieSeebricht/pseuds/WosichdieSeebricht
Summary: CHEN:	Just a few more seconds. I want to see if Lay succeds on climbing that tree.KAI:	We could say we lost them?CHEN: How do you lose a sandwich, Jongin?BAEKHYUN: *completly drunk* *mistakes restaurant for strip club* *starts table dancing*Just a collection of silly stories. Or: a complete waste of your time. Or how Exo would put it:CHANYEOL: Ah this is nice! We should do this more often, you know?EXO:	NO!
Kudos: 4





	1. Exo at the park

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow human beings.  
> You've klicked on this story. Congrats. You are about to waste some of your more or less precious time on me.  
> And my stupid "story". Honestly don't even know what it is anymore at this point.  
> Hope you enjoy nontheless.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title: Suho needs vacation.

SUHO: Okay, what are we doing here?

EXO: *commonly shrugging* *looking at each other*

SUHO: Wait, where's Chanyeol?

LAY: *instant panics* Oh, no we lost Chanyeol! *talking to random passers-by* Have you seen Chanyeol? He's big! How could we lose a big one?

D.O.: *quickly raises his head* *stares intensly at Suho* Chanyeol's not here yet?

BAEKHYUN: *imitates D.O.'s hopeful tone* *makes big eyes* He's not here yet?

SUHO: *frowns* Did you even look at us, Kyungsoo?

KAI: Why aren't your wearing your glasses? You're basically blind without them! Here take mine! *puts his sunglasses on D.O.* *they are too big*

D.O.: *looks silly* *takes off glasses* I was not wearing any on purpose! Just how many more times?

CHEN: Sometimes I wish I was as blind as you.

XIUMIN: There are things you can't unsee.

Everyone turns to look at Baekhyun. Except for Lay. Lay's still  
looking around for Chanyeol, yelling his name.

D.O.: Lay, shut up! Seriously guys, let's just leave. It's not too late!

CHANYEOL: Not too late for what? *hugs D.O. from behind*

D.O.: *glares at Baek* This is your chance to rise in my esteem.

LAY: *hugs Chanyeol* I found him!

D.O.: Too late. Lay won.

CHANYEOL: What are we playing? „Who D.O. loves the most?“

KAI: I like that game. I always win on that one.

SEHUN: You think so?

SUHO: *correcting Chanyeol* I think you mean „who does D.O. hate the least?“

CHANYEOL: Hah! I always win on that one!

SUHO: *repeating* The _least,_ Chanyeol!

XIUMIN: *shrieks* Now that we are all here let's go someplace safe, k?   
*starts to walk in fast circles around them followed by pigeons*

LAY: *high pitched scream* *jumps Chanyeol* Save me please!

They both go down together.

LAY: *jumps to his feet* Now it's every man for himself!

SUHO: By the way, I am your leader. I should win at all our games!

XIUMIN: *catches up to Lay* Why are they after me? Please! I don't want to die!

SEHUN: No. I should win I am your maknae!

LAY: *shouts at Xiumin and pigeons* STOP FOLLOWING ME!

REST OF EXO: *tilting their heads while watching their two grown-up men and graceful dancing members running around like maniacs,  
waving their arms and kicking their legs, screaming like infants*

BAEKHYUN: Embarrassing.

SUHO: Wanna refresh your memories on the haunted house incident?

They watch calmly how other visitors stop and stare at Xiumin and Lay. Lay throws one of his shoes at them. The pigeons.

CHEN: I've placed bird feed in Xiumin's jacket *points at jacket tied around Xiumin's hips*

SUHO: *mumbling to himself* I need a vacation.

CHANYEOL: Shouldn't we tell them?

CHEN: Just a few more seconds. I want to see if Lay succeds on climbing that tree.

SEHUN: Wait, can't pigeons like...fly?

KAI: *just realizing the dumbness himself* *dieing seal laugh*

BAEKHYUN: Xiumin just sacrifice them your jacket!

XIUMIN: I swear they were after me!

LAY: Birds are evil.

XIUMIN: You can see the evil in their eyes.

LAY: Their eyes are red!

*silence*

LAY: How can you not find that creepy?

XIUMIN: I wonder what they wanted my jacket for?

D.O.: I'd sacrifice all of my jackets if it meant I can go home now.

SUHO: *holding each Lay and Xiumin's hands* Right. Chanyeol why are we here?

KAI: *sudden burst of joy*I want a balloon. A penguin! D.O.? *pointing at a man holding an awful lot of helium balloons*

BAEKHYUN: I want a puppy! *runs off*

SEHUN: *talking to seller* I want one that looks like Vivi! Do you have that?

CHANYEOL: I want a monkey! Or one that looks like Toben!

CHEN: I want that dinosaur!

LAY: I want a sheep! Or do you also sell unicorns? Oh no I can't decide!

EXO: *looking at Suho expectantly*

SUHO: I don't think I have enough money for all of us.

  
*Everyone stares in disbelief*  
  


SUHO: What? I have no idea why I'm even here. Why would I bring my wallet with me?

XIUMIN: *pats his body* If someone gets back my jacket. I've got enough money in there.   
And my ID's in there as well so it would be really nice if someone could-

BAEKHYUN: *already ran off, screaming and chest thumping*

XIUMIN: *turning to Suho* You want a balloon as well?

SEHUN: Suho you're taking up all the space!

SUHO: *looking deadly unamused* I wonder why. *on his left arm 10 balloons*

BAEKHYUN: I am hungry *whiney voice* Chanyeol! You said this is picnic.

CHANYEOL: Ah, yeah. I've prepared some sandwiches for us.

D.O.: You made them all by yourself?

CHANYEOL: Yes. *bright smile* *holds up a bag enthusiastically*

XIUMIN: And noone helped you?

CHANYEOL: No, why?

SUHO: But you did use a recipe, right Yeoli?

CHANYEOL: No. It's my special creation!

EXO: *exchange worried looks*

BAEKHYUN: *takes one of the sandwiches* *looks at it closely* Is that cucumber?

CHANYEOL: Yes :)

BAEKHYUN: And peanut butter? And bacon?

CHANYEOL: And pineapple! *hands sandwiches to all his members*

D.O.: *glares at the other members*

BAEKHYUN: Oh hey! Look there's a puppy looking exactly like Toben!

CHANYEOL: Where?? *looking around excitedly*

BAEKHYUN: Ah, let's get over there to get a better look. *jumps up trying to pull Chanyeol with him*   
*mouths to his members* Get rid of the sandwiches!

CHANYEOL: I don't see it. Where? *follows Baekhyun*

SUHO: Okay we have to get rid of...this *points at sandwiches*

LAY: If we throw them away Chanyeol will be sad.

D.O.: Do you want to die just to make him happy?

KAI: We could say we lost them?

CHEN: How do you lose a sandwich, Jongin?

SEHUN: It happens.

XIUMIN: You could feed them to the birds?

BAEKHYUN: There! You see?

CHANYEOL: Baek I think you have to get your eyes checked.

BAEKHYUN: *pointing at a grey pigeon confidently* Why?

CHANYEOL: *gives him a pointed glare* *starts to turn back*

BAEKHYUN: Wow, wait! *grabs Chanyeols hands in panic*

CHANYEOL: What?

BAEKHYUN: *looking around frantically* Look! How tiny my hand is compared to yours. *starts to laugh nervously*  
Here! *makes them hold their hands against each other*

SEHUN: Pspsps. Come here. Yummy yummy. *holds out sandwich to pigeon*

KAI: I think it's ignoring you. *watches Sehun with arms folded over his chest*

SUHO: Less judging, more action! You all know Baekhyun can't lie for shit!

CHEN: Ah wae! Not even the birds want to eat that crap.

LAY: I think it has gummibears on it as well.

*they all turn to him without saying anything*

XIUMIN: You think it's harmful? Like to eat that?

D.O.: Please tell me you're not considering to do it.

SEHUN: Yehet! *succesfully feeds one of the sandwiches to a pigeon*

BAEKHYUN: And look, Chanyeol! Our feet! Mine are so tiny. Haha. Wouldn't it be fun to change shoes.   
*croches down to unlace their sneakers*

Eventually they return to the others.   
They pretend to have been robbed of the sandwiches by pigeons and did not want to fight them because Xiumin and Lay got scared again.  
Xiumin and Lay went off to buy something to eat and drink.

CHANYEOL: I think something is wrong with Baekhyun?

D.O.: You just realized?

CHANYEOL: He wanted to wear my sneakers??

KAI: Doesn't he borrow your old sweaters and jackets?

CHANYEOL: Yeah but- how can you not find that story weird? And he thought a pigeon looked like Toben!

D.O.: Close enough to me.

CHANYEOL: *frowning* Yeah, because you're blind, Kyungsoo.

SEHUN: Ah. Stop talking about pets. I miss Vivi!

SUHO: Why don't you take back your balloon? *tries to get rid of Sehuns ballon*

SEHUN: *sighs but takes it* Last time I took Vivi to the park he chased after someone on a bike.

SUHO: Vivi knows how to bike? *laughs at his own bad joke*

BAEKHYUN: Vivi's smarter than his owner.

SEHUN: *hitting Baekhyun with his ballon*

SUHO: *hands out balloons to the members* D.O. Do you know how penguins build their homes?

D.O.: They don't-

SUHO: They iglue them together! *halfly dies laughing at his own joke*

Xiumin and Lay return with the food.

CHANYEOL: Ah this is nice! We should do this more often, you know?

EXO: NO!


	2. Exo at a fancy restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Titel: What did I do?

SUHO: It's so nice we're all getting toge-  
SEHUN: Since we are talking about sad events. I lost my wallet. Who's gonna pay for me?  
SUHO: *sighs* Today's on me...again. Anyways I-  
CHANYEOL: *running late* *brings his own food* What? I got hungry on my way here!  
SEHUN: *points at table decoration* Do you think those flowers are edible? *tries feeding Vivi some*  
D.O.: *glares at waiter until he comes rushing to their table* *mumbles to himself* Let's get this over with fast.  
SEHUN: *completly lost orders from kid's menu bc it has pictures* I want this.  
KAI: *lets D.O. order for him* And do you have chicken wings?  
BAEKHYUN: *orders his third drink* *oders random number from the menu without even looking*  
CHEN: *sings his order*  
SUHO: *tells bad dad joke first* A sandwich walks into a bar and the barkeeper says: „Sorry but we are not serving food!“  
WAITER: *laughs after Suho tips him 50$*  
LAY: *lost* *still on his way talking to Suho on the phone* Where did you say Suho?  
XIUMIN: *gets asked for ID while trying to order a drink* I am the eldest.  
  
Times passes. Suho's starting to regret his decision. Their food is coming.  
  
BAEKHYUN: *plays with his food* *claims its a magic trick* Baekhyundini!  
SUHO: *cutting Sehuns food* I wanted to gather you to make an announcement-  
SEHUN: *feeds his food to Vivi*  
XIUMIN: *is running low on coffeine* *tleaves to take over coffee machine at the bar*  
KAI: * isdissapointed* That's not chicken! *orders KFC to the restaurant*  
CHEN: *gives a private concert to a freshly engaged couple a few tables away*  
SUHO: Guys, let's stay togeth-  
CHANYEOL: *leaves to battle Chen for his spot in CBX* *or the singer at that random couple's wedding who knows* I can play many instruments! Let me sing on your wedding!  
LAY: *is still on his way* *looks up location via google maps* *figures out he's still in China*  
KAI: *breaks the third plate since getting there*  
D.O.: *deep sigh* Good thing I left my glasses at home.  
KAI: What?  
D.O.: I said I'll get a new plate. *leaves in the opposite direction of the kitchen*  
XIUMIN: *startes serving coffee to everyone* Here I made an extra strong one for your nerves!  
SUHO: *not even looking up* *tips him 20$* Thank you. Put in some vodka as well okay?  
XIUMIN: You don't drink coffee with vodka.  
SUHO: In times like this? Yes. Yes I do.  
CHEN: *is watching them from afar sipping wine* Ah I don't even know them that well.  
SEHUN: *gets Vivi his own upholstered armchair and a napkin* He's still a baby. *makes Suho cut Kai's food to feed it to Vivi as well*  
CHANYEOL: *pouting* I would've brought Toben as well!  
LAY: *boarding a plane* I am an Exo member, you know.  
CHECK-IN GUY: That's 300$.  
  
Major jump forward in time. It's been over two hours. No, Suho is not okay (thank you for asking). Things have gotten out of control. _Way_ out of control.  
  
BAEKHYUN: *completly drunk* *mistakes restaurant for strip club* *starts table dancing*  
CHEN: *throwing Suhos money at twerking Baek*  
CHANYEOL: *singing artificial love for Baek's performence*  
XIUMIN: *intoxicated with coffein* *starts dancing along*  
KAI: *traumatizised innocent baby* *sits under their table eating his chicken*  
SUHO: *pays everyone at the restaurant shush money*  
D.O.: *has left hours ago* *escaped through the toilet window unnoticed*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has less text. I hope you still liked it.  
> My original idea was to just gather ideas for different situation and having each members reaction in one sentence in that Screenplay  
> style but yeah. I don't know where this is going.  
> Probably down down baby.  
> Okay I stop.  
> Bye.

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats. If you are reading this, you survived my complete nonsense.  
> You are great.  
> Maybe I'll return for more. When I recover from this. If I recover.  
> If you want leave some suggestions - down below.  
> Thank you.


End file.
